Report Says “Staying Together for the Kids” May Not Be Worth it

Well-Meaning Advice Doesn’t Always Work

It’s hard to argue against any concept that focuses on making sure that children receive the help and support they need to grow. Unfortunately, some divorce advice ends up being counterproductive despite the fact that the words of wisdom were well-meaning. “Staying together for the kids” is one of those frequently uttered phrases that sounds good in theory but doesn’t work out in application.

Controversial Divorce Findings

Resolution, a group that represents family lawyers within the U.K., recently revealed that their survey shows eight out of ten children believe it’s better that their parents split up instead of sticking together through a marriage in which both of them are unhappy. The publishing of these results have caused an uproar within the marriage community.

Sir Paul Coleridge, leader of the Marriage Foundation group, stated that ”family breakdown has to be confronted for the real and lasting damage it does to children and not massaged away by superficially comforting and, from the family lawyers’ point of view, self-serving platitudes.”

Interestingly, the survey sampled 514 older children between the ages of 14 and 22, all of whom have already been through their parents’ divorce. Often, the advice of these teens and young adults suggest that they would rather see that they’re parents are content instead of simply together.

Conclusions Differ

U.K. government publications on divorce states that “‘It’s not the separation itself that can cause harm to your children, it’s the level of conflict that they see or hear between parents.” However, previous research published by the Exeter Family Study stated that the separation of a parent from a home has more of an influence on kids than the fighting itself, which is still considered negative for the child.

Another survey, this one published by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, shows that about half of all men and women believe that “divorce is usually the best solution when a couple can’t seem to work out their marriage problems.” In the end of the day, each case is unique, requiring wisdom and patience to get through what can be a very difficult time in your child’s life.

Protect Yourself and Your Children

Hiring a lawyer when it becomes obvious that you need a divorce ensures that you and your children are protected from the potential of a legal decision that’s disastrous for your family.

Colgan & Associates, LLC is a trusted law firm that specializes in family law matters, traffic matters and criminal defense. We represent clients in both State and Federal Court, with offices in Harrisburg, York and Dillsburg.

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